Nicole vs. Life
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
