didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
