I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
