Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
