Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
