god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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