do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
