Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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