He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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