if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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