well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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