never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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