My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
