We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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