Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My ass is underappreciated
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
