If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
