i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
