Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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