her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize