At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Holy shit dude........stairs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
