Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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