gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
ttyl tear gas
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize