Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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