My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize