i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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