"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
