Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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