I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
