if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
