I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
