I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
