bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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