Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
