Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
