i always forget guys have bellybuttons
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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