This is not my ceiling
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
