So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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