grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
