i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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