it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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