when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize