Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
