Soap is not a condiment
my being single is dangerous.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
