He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
