When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
