I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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