it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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