I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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