I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
