Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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