Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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