You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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