Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
