who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Randomize