Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
