I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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